Dog

I think she overheard us talking about her death and decided to get better. She is still with us and I am grateful. I know it is coming but I will enjoy her as long as possible.

Nothing Lasts

The vet has told me my dog is just too old to go on and should be euthanized. I know nothing is permanent and I do not fear death, but I do not like it for others, especially a being who trusts me and loves me without conditions.

I had a terrible time with the death of my mother and my elderely father balances on the fulcrum of eternity and none of that is right. My own anihilation is OK, but not that of those who actually have contributed something good.

On the other hand, it is not right to allow a being to suffer when you can end that suffering. In the end, I suppose my pain is selfish. I do not want to give up another being who gives me love. There seems to be too little of that.

Discovery

Insight is powerful. Knowing the source of some of my frustration is allowing me to recover some of the freedom I have surrendered over my lifetime. I am feeling better physically and mentally and I am going to Greece for the month of July. I have rented a house overlooking the sea and I may never return. I expect to drink, dance and throw plates.